Oh, Cricket Australia. Who knew that they were such a group of comic geniuses?

If Michael Beer plays at the WACA, he will be the 10th spin bowler to try his luck at filling the shoes of Liz Hurley's pal Shane. And all logic suggests he will be the tenth to fail.

Hats off to selector Andrew Hilditch for insisting that his man would do well on "his home ground". Stuart MacGill was just one of many to point out that Beer has only been a Western Australia player for about five minutes, giving a splendidly indignant interview that contained the quote:

"Look, Andrew Hilditch is a lovely bloke but someone needs to tell him Michael Beer has not spent his career playing at the WACA. Three games there and nothing better than a three-for. Honestly, there is no big picture here."

Quite what Nathan Hauritz has done to deserve all this has yet to fully emerge, but it must be something pretty awful. On the other hand, Ben Hilfenhaus and Mitchell Johnson, not good enough after the first Test, now look like they are suddenly back in. How did they become so much more attractive in a week of not playing? It's all very enjoyable for us English fans; Aussies must be aghast. This is the sort of muddled, panicky caper usually associated with the Pommie opposition.

Still, England should not get too complacent: even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day, and maybe Perth will be the ground where all the planets align and Evil Mitchell Johnson makes an appearance. The First Test gave us a good look at Sad Mitch, Pointless Mitch and Put Him Out Of His Misery Mitch, but Evil Mitch still lurks within, or so they say. I also fancy Ricky Ponting to get a big score at the WACA.

Australia are clearly in a bad way, but let's not start patting each other on the back just yet. England have lost one of their opening bowlers for the rest of the series; the other has flown around the world for the birth of his child - who knows if that will have disrupted Jimmy Anderson's focus? You do wonder why Mr and Mrs Anderson couldn't have perhaps planned things a bit more considerately.

Anyway, Australia in turmoil, England doing nicely. It all seems too good to be true. Is it too pessimistic Pommie to fear a Headingley 2009 style reality check?

Alan Tyers