* England's second-string bowling line-up is better than Australia's third. On a greentop, under cloudy skies.

* Ajmal Shahzad's omission from the official main touring party is a mystery to rank alongside Michael McIntyre's popularity and Doug Bollinger's magic regrowing hair. Chris Tremlett now plays for Surrey and as such is a huge media darling, but he was comprehensively outbowled by Shahzad on the openingday at Bellerive. Tremlett is clearly being talked up because Steven Finn is the least secure of England's seamers, but Shahzad looks far the more exciting prospect. Not least because he bears an uncanny resemblance to an even more unhinged Ian Holloway. Which has to be a plus. His aggression, ability to move both new and old ball, and crazy eyes surely add up to an Ashes hit. The Aussies'll love him. It's a shame England will only play five bowlers under the direst of emergencies, because they could now pick an attack to rival 2005's Famous Five: Broad (Flintoff), Finn (Harmison), Anderson (Hoggard), Shahzad (Jones) and Swann (Giles). At the very least, Shahzad should be confirmed as the official 17th member of England's squad. If the Aussies can pick that many for one Test, England can certainly do so for the whole tour.

* Monty. Ah, Monty. He has clearly spent the last 18 months improving his batting and fielding: a near-miss on a run-out followed by channelling Mark Ramprakash 98 to take a stunning one-handed catch at midwicket, thus giving everyone the chance to dust off their Jonty Panesar jokes but without taking the p*ss this time. But his bowling, on this evidence, has still gone nowhere since 2006. To paraphrase Shane Warne's famous summary of the Montster's career, in Hobart he didn't bowl 20 overs, he bowled one over 20 times.

* Writing off Paul Collingwood remains the most foolhardy thing a cricket follower can do, apart from drinking four cans of Stella on the train when heading to a Test match. Those gleefully predicting that cricket is poised to file for divorce from Mike Hussey might well be engaging in similar folly. Although we all obviously enjoyed the fact he was out caught by his brother for a duck in the Sheffield Shield this week.

* Kevin Pietersen and mediocre left-arm spinners: it's getting beyond a joke now.

* Let's hope the Aussies don't bowl much short stuff to Jonathan Trott.

* Let's hope the Aussies bowl lots of short stuff to Alastair Cook.

* Andrew Strauss' new bat is so beautiful to look at it has caused confusing feelings in me.

* As well as having the sexiest bat in town, Strauss' determination to treat the warm-up games as proper, competitive cricket matches may seem an obvious tactic, but it has been so successful and in such marked contrast to every tour England have been on in the last 10 years that it may well go down as the crucial factor should England retain the urn.

* Ian Bell has cracked it. This is not an over-reaction to one admittedly gorgeous innings. Over the last 18 months he has consistently disproved the chief criticism against him - namely, his lack of sufficient testicular fortitude. But for his staunchest critics, only big runs in Australia will finally confirm the quivering, brow-beaten Shermanator is no more. I have supreme confidence he will get them.

* England have never in my lifetime had such a wonderful preparation for an Ashes series. All the batsman have made some runs. All the bowlers - including the back-ups - have taken some wickets.

* Australia have never in my lifetime had such a woeful preparation for an Ashes series.

* They'll still win though, won't they?