Do you know the funniest thing about all the crazy Shane Warne comeback talk?

The fact that it's not actually the worst thing Australia could do. That's how far and how quickly they've fallen: desperately getting a commentator and poker player four years retired to return in the middle of an Ashes series would, for example, be a better plan than keeping Xavier Doherty in the side.

Warne, with only the odd four-over IPL spell under his belt in the last few years, might still be the best spinner Australia could turn to.

But picking him would almost certainly be a disaster.

Australia truly have got themselves in an appalling selection mess. By dumping Nathan Hauritz for Doherty they always ran the risk of creating this situation, but their farcical fast bowler's merry-go-round is perhaps even more damaging.

Mitchell Johnson, ditched after a wicketless, runless and listless Gabba performance, could be thrown straight back into the team. But that would have to be at Doug Bollinger's expense because having two left-armers creating massive rough for Graeme Swann would almost qualify as self-harm.

At the very least it'd be a cry for help.

Ryan Harris is game as they come but never more than an over from injury disaster while Peter Siddle's flame that burned so brightly in Brisbane already seems to have flickered out.

It's possible, then, that after making two changes to the bowling line-up between the first and second Test, Australia could make three more before the third.

And all the while a misfiring batting line-up is, injury excepted, left to carry on unchanged.

Getting thrashed in Ashes Tests, chopping and changing the bowling line-up game-by-game and pathetically harking back to a glorious past.

Australia's bid to follow England's 1990s blueprint is complete.