Vernon Philander is going to be so pissed. He takes a five-fer, his ninth in just 15 Tests, and then four more in the second innings against Pakistan in Cape Town, and he still doesn't get our coveted Player of the Week award.
Please, Vern, just let me explain! The thing is, you were awesome. So amazing. But... without Robin Peterson's superb career-best knock of 84 in the first innings, South Africa would probably have been too far behind to catch up, and thus get the win.
Saeed Ajmal had already ripped the top order apart, taking six wickets and leaving the Proteas teetering on 162 for six, still a long way behind the 338 required just to draw the sides level. And then in came Robbie P to rescue the situation.
The spinner, who would like to be known as an all-rounder, last scored a Test fifty in 2003, in his first Test, and since then has averaged around 20. His knock was a welcome surprise for the Proteas, just as Tanvir Ahmed had done for the visitors the day before.
Peterson batted alongside AB de Villiers, Vernon Philander (half ton stand), Dale Steyn and Morne Morkel as they dragged the score to 326, just 12 runs short of the target and giving the bowling attack a new chance to shine.
The Proteas then went on to dismiss Pakistan for 169 in the second innings, leaving a target of just 182 to win, and again Peterson played an instrumental role. While Philander may have taken four wickets, it was Peterson who removed Misbah-ul-Haq and instigated the collapse, taking two further wickets.
Obviously Philander gets an honourable mention for his nine wickets, while we have to give some praise to the poor Pakistanis. Younis Khan and Asad Shafiq each scored centuries in vain, while Ajmal took 10 wickets and still ended up on the losing side. Ouch.
Elsewhere, England and New Zealand contested some shorter format games, with Brendon McCullum scoring 74 in the second T20 and then 69 not out in the first ODI, both of which his side won.
And while this may not have been an international game, Chris Gayle finally found some form while playing in the Bangladesh Premier League, scoring 114 off 51 balls for Dhaka. His knock went like this: . . . . 4 . . 6 . 4 1 . 1 . 1 . 1 . 2 1 1 . 1 . 1 . 1 1 . 1 . 1 4 1 4 6 1 6 6 2 6 6 4 . 6 6 6 6 2 1 1 6 6 1 OUT. Blimey, talk about acceleration!
Lindsay du Plessis