Alec Stewart showers Paul Collingwood with 'praise' and Herschelle Gibbs gets a worthy mentor, it's all here and more in this week's Musing The Week's Media.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

"Paul Collingwood, with respect, is a poor man's Mark Ealham," opined Alec Stewart on Sky Sports, apparently oblivious to the teachings of Otis and Aretha.

No doubt Stewie didn't mean any offence; some of his best friends are probably poor men's Mark Ealhams. Still, that kind of comment has to sting and Collingwood made the counter-argument with his ridiculous take of Virender Sehwag on Thursday morning.

Ealham wouldn't have caught that with step ladders and a baseball glove.

Taff Love

Herschelle Gibbs has joined Glamorgan for July, August and September 2009, reports Cricket365.

Director of cricket Matthew Maynard said: "Herschelle is a typical example of the cricketing experience that we are looking to sign to the club and I'm thrilled that he is joining us next season."

And what sort of 'cricketing experience' does Maynard offer in exchange?

In Shaun Udal's autobiography he recalls Maynard drinking so heavily before a game that he threw up over the advertising hoardings during the morning warm-up. Just the man to welcome Gibbs in from alcohol rehab!

Lips Don't Lie: Lip-Read of the Week

"It's a bitter pill to swallow. Match referees call the shots but they may want to go back to the drawing board on this." - IPL star-in-waiting Kevin Pietersen talks to the press after his side's D/L defeat in the third ODI.

"F***ing joke." - England captain Kevin Pietersen talks to himself leaving the field after his side's D/L defeat in the third ODI.

Dear, oh dear

The Daily Mail is making moves into the 21st century with their over-by-over coverage but are keen to stay loyal to some sacred truths.

For their report on the India innings in the 3rd ODI began thusly: 'England must be the only Europeans to come to India and not get the runs.'

And while we're on the voice of middle England online, how seriously is it taking its sports coverage in comparison to Lindsey Lohan in no bra, Nicola McLean in a bra (just about) and other pressing matters of state?

Well, if you put columnist Des Kelly's name into the dailymail.co.uk search engine the first item on the great man is not his writing on the sports pages, but a 50-word Femail puff piece about his on-/off-relationship with tv's Carol Vorderman.

Headline of the Week

'Indian Premier League? You're Having a Laugh' - The Sun 2nd ODI shows Lalit Modi that if he wants to ape the EPL he should be careful what he wishes for.

Come again? Quote of the Week

"And to open the bowling for England, Jimmy Adams." - Sky Sports and Ian Ward present the remarkable scoop that Kevin Pietersen's commitment to innovation has brought a 40-year-old West Indian's left-arm tweakers to English rescue in Kanpur.