Because we can, here are 38 times Stuart Broad was just the best

Dave Tickner
Stuart.Broad_.Appeal.Cricket.PA_

Tough times, these. But if there’s a better way of cheering ourselves up than remembering just quite literally some of the times Stuart Broad was the absolute best, then frankly we don’t want to hear about it.

1. First things first, the time he took 8/15 against Australia

2. And the time he took 6/17 against South Africa

3. And also the time he took 7/44 against New Zealand

4. And not forgetting the time he took 6/25 against India

5. Being rubbish for the first four Tests of the 2009 Ashes just to make his series-winning spell in the fifth Test funnier

6. Being the world’s most aesthetically pleasing slogger, 2007-2014

7. Becoming a genuine number 11 batsman, 2015-2020

8. Taking a Test hat-trick that bantered India’s DRS stance right off

9. Taking a Test hat-trick without realising it

10. Straightening the off stump after having his middle stump knocked out of the ground

11. Using the phrase “see with your eyes” when we wrote about that dismissal

12. Broadface

Stuart Broad Broadface Trent Bridge 2015 Ashes

13. Broadface II when Denly dropped that catch

14. Scoring 169 and not remotely being the biggest talking point of the Test match

15. The last ball of England’s defeat to Netherlands in the opening game of the 2009 World T20

16. Captaining England to another heroic T20 defeat against the Dutch

17. Making a big fuss of moving the Adelaide Oval sightscreen and then getting bowled round his legs first ball by Mitchell Johnson

18. Failing to pass 1 in eight consecutive overseas Test innings

19. Inspiring Martin Samuel to suggest he should bowl all the overs from both ends

20. Wandering off for a piss while trying to bat out a draw against Sri Lanka

21. Not walking that time at Trent Bridge

Stuart Broad Ashton Agar Trent Bridge not walking

22. His post-series assessment of why he didn’t walk that time at Trent Bridge: “It was an important moment in the game because, let’s be honest, if Belly and I hadn’t put on those runs, we wouldn’t have won the Test match so we would only have won 3-1 or something.”

23. Infuriating Australians generally and Queenslanders specifically to the extent that lots of them wore “STUART BROAD IS A SHIT BLOKE” T-shirts, most of them without irony.

24. Posing happily with people wearing “STUART BROAD IS A SHIT BLOKE” T-shirts

25. Prompting the Courier-Mail to shit the bed and set it on fire by refusing to name him – except for when putting his face and name right there on the front of the paper – and labelling him “Stuart Fraud”, “smug Pommie cheat” and “the 27-year-old medium-pacer” ahead of the 2013/14 Ashes opener

26. Wandering into the press conference after taking five wickets on day one at the Gabba with the Courier Mail tucked under his arm.

27. Insisting on being put up for England media duties after the sandpapergate story broke and wondering with studied mock-innocence why Australia had changed their successful bowling strategy from the Ashes

28. This dismissal

29. Each and every one of the 372 times he got David Warner out in the 2019 Ashes

30. This tweet

31. Filming James Anderson hitting himself in the face playing g**f

32. Not being in any way involved in the KP Genius twitter account

33. Almost getting timed out and then reviewing the plumb lbw dismissal that completed Peter Siddle’s Birthday Hat-Trick

34. This double fist-pump celebrappeal and the insane third-umpire decision to overturn it

35. And this celebrappeal

36. And this one

37. And this one

38. And, of course, getting Yuvrajed. Thinking about it, this really should have been number 36.

UPDATE: Five other ones that we’d forgotten about because there are just so, so many

1. Extravagant shoe-based timewasting that didn’t even work

2. Being the best Fantasy Football player on earth one week

3. When John Campbell tried to scoop him in the 10th over of a Test match

4. #stay #humble

5. Joining in with the Jofradamus phenom

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