England Ashes power ranking sees Pope and Brook plummet after the Gabba
Two eight-wicket defeats and England are staring down the barrel of an Ashes whitewash. Here’s hoping Ben Stokes and the lads take some time in between supping cold beers and golfing on holiday in Noosa for long, hard looks in the mirror after another hugely depressing Test at the Gabba where the Bazball chickens have come home to roost.
Here’s the England Ashes power ranking, with each player’s position after Perth in brackets.
12) Mark Wood (9)
‘Likely to be rather undercooked’ was our prediction ahead of the series seeing as Wood hadn’t played a Test since August 2024 and despite playing his part in an extraordinary average England bowling speed of 87.6mph in the first innings, he didn’t find the same rhythm as the rest of his scary teammates on the first day and bowled just three overs in the second.
Now out of the series and there will be huge doubts as to whether he will ever return.
11) Jamie Smith (7)
His horror drop of Travis Head was the headline moment of an inauspicious wicket-keeping performance, made to look all the more deficient in comparison to Alex Carey’s faultless and inspired showing for Australia. And the Aussie fans didn’t let Smith forget it, cheering very simple catches for the rest of the Test.
He hasn’t looked comfortable with the bat since the first innings in Perth. Scott Boland castled him for a duck on day one at the Gabba with a decent ball but through a mighty gap between bat and pad. And we’re at a loss as to why anyone would attempt a booming drive against Mitchell Starc under the lights, but then we’re currently at a far more general loss with regard to England batsmen.
10) Ben Duckett (8)
Mightily unfortunate in the second innings at the Gabba as low bounce saw one scuttle under his bat, but a golden duck in the first over of the Test and a couple of frustrating 20s in Perth combines with doubts that will forever follow Zak Crawley to make for an all-too familiar dodgy set of England openers to expose a similarly dodgy No.3.
9) Harry Brook (5)
Any Aussies not sure What Brook’s All About will have been well aware after a brilliant half-century in the first innings in Perth, but that knock – featuring one particularly glorious cover drive for six off Scott Boland – feels like an awfully long time ago and it’s hard not to question the leadership of a man who’s England’s vice captain given what we’ve seen of him since.
Driving Mitchell Starc on the up two balls into a new spell was the point at which those England fans who had previously hailed and encouraged Brook’s carefree approach as a means to his game-changing end accepted that there needs to be a bit more circumspection in key moments and that more responsibility needs to be taken from one of the most talented batsmen in world cricket, who’s all too readily throwing his wicket away.
8) Ollie Pope (4)
Him exceeding our expectations with scores of 46 and 33 in the first Test is pretty telling and Pope got on the wrong side of the line between busy and frenetic at the Gabba as he’s done for the vast majority of his England career. At least half the time he’s at the crease we have to resist the urge to climb through the TV screen or storm the pitch, grab him by the collar and tell him to “calm the f*** down”.
Mark Waugh described him as “just a player” on commentary and England need more than that at No.3.
7) Gus Atkinson (6)
Just three wickets in the series and two of those came in the second innings at the Gabba when there was nothing on the line. Got some useful runs down the order in Perth but is a very strong contender (among many) for brainless moment of the series so far when he – seemingly deliberately – tickled a pull shot straight to Steve Smith with seven fielders on the leg side waiting for just such a shot as the Aussies telegraphed their plan to test him with short-pitched bowling.
6) Will Jacks
Hugely damning of the rest of the England team that 19 and then 41 in a Test match is enough to see Will Jacks in this position in the power ranking, but here we are. He looked in really good touch in that second innings in particular and took an outstanding catch to dismiss Steve Smith. He would be very unfortunate to miss out in Adelaide.
5) Brydon Carse (3)
Steve Smith is quite the first Ashes wicket to claim and Carse has taken eight since to be the second-highest wicket-taker in the series, if quite a long way behind Mitchell Starc on 18. But those wickets and a commendable average of 26.77 provide gloss for what has been an inconsistent and often costly bowling performance from Carse.
Travis Head hit him to all parts in the second innings in Perth having all too easily dragged him off a length that he’s barely been able to find since. Only Cameron Green (17.3%) has forced a lower false shot percentage than Carse (20.2%) in the series and he conceded 95 runs in his first 12 overs in the first innings at the Gabba.
4) Zak Crawley (11)
The irony of an opener averaging 30-odd coming into the series not being under any real pressure for his position in the side because the selectors believed he would thrive in Aussie conditions wasn’t just not lost on anyone after Perth but staring and laughing us all in the face.
But after the two wickets for his pair came from grimly predictable drives from undrivable lengths in that first Test, we were treated to some of the best ‘stand and deliver’ Crawley in the first innings at the Gabba, before being caught and bowled for the second time this series in the second in what was arguably the most frustrating moment of the whole Test after Ollie Pope had done the exact same thing.
He and we would absolutely have taken 120 runs in the second Test, which gives him a series average of…. 30.
3) Jofra Archer (1)
Archer well have been rested for Adelaide had a) Wood not been sent home, and b) he not been so far clear of the other England seamers across the two Test matches.
He’s got just three wickets, two in that outstanding first spell of the series, and averages 57, but only Wood (35.8%) has forced a higher false shot percentage than Archer (31.5%) on either side and although those watching his battle with Steve Smith have similar questions as to why the “champion” saved his 150kph deliveries for “when there’s nothing going on”, him being so clearly f***ed off with what had led to that moment bodes well for Adelaide.
He will have a target on his back for the rest of the tour and can expect far more champs and champions from the Aussie players and the baying crowds, but he’s not a man to cow under the pressure and England’s faint hopes of getting back into the series rest (far too much) on his shoulders.
2) Ben Stokes (2)
“A dressing room that I am captain of is not a place for weak men” was quite the line after the Gabba from a captain who has previously brushed off perceived weaknesses in the England team as an inevitable by-product of the freedom he and Brendon McCullum haven’t just promoted but insisted upon in the face of those questioning whether it’s in fact a synonym for carelessness.
He’s arguably as culpable for the loose a reckless shots as the batsmen themselves, and running himself out in the first innings at the Gabba made for a wobbly leg to stand on. He did show some grit in the second innings though with 50 from 152 balls and averages under 20 with the ball in the series having illustrated his golden arm in Perth, combining the ‘there’s something about him’ factor with some pure-and-simple good bowling in that first innings to put England in an excellent position which they’ve since spectacularly failed to capitalise on.
That interview suggests he will have delivered some hard truths to the team and individuals in the aftermath, and while we’re not doubting his capacity as captain – he’s been outstanding since taking charge – a more authoritarian approach may now be required to replace the happy-clappy hippie free-for-all that’s been brutally exposed down under.
1) Joe Root (10)
Perth was hardly a Test match to fill us with confidence in Root ending his Aussie Ashes hoodoo, but we never really thought he could go another five-Test series without getting the ton down under monkey off his back.
As is so often the case, he made it look easy at the Gabba, shrugging in a ‘what else did you expect’ celebration before the wholly predictable ‘does it actually count?’ whataboutery arrived in earnest on the basis of none of Josh Hazlewood, Pat Cummins or Nathan Lyon playing against England’s greatest ever batsman.
Maybe we shouldn’t blame him after that for a soft dismissal in the second innings, but as one of England’s only semi-sensible batsmen, it’s hard not to.