No need to cheat anymore, we’ve done it – a full England team to be struck by illness on their tour of South Africa.
Congratulations Dom Sibley – the missing piece of the Wild Shits XI.
The opening batsman completes a full England team to suffer sickness or flu-like symptoms since the squad landed in Johannesburg a fortnight ago, in addition to five members of the backroom team.
England have tried their best to contain the bug during and before their first Test defeat in Centurion, placing individuals in isolation and arranging separate travel, but have been unable to stop its progress through the touring party.
Chris Woakes, Jack Leach and Ollie Pope were all ruled out of contention for the series opener but have all improved sufficiently to be removed from quarantine. Captain Joe Root and Jos Buttler, both of whom fell ill during the match, are also feeling better.
Sibley will travel to Cape Town with the rest of the squad and England must now be concerned that the remaining unaffected players are vulnerable. The second Test begins at Newlands on January 3.
England Wild Shits XI: Dom Sibley, Joe Denly, Joe Root (c), Ollie Pope, Ben Stokes, Jos Buttler (wk), Chris Woakes, Jack Leach, Jofra Archer, Stuart Broad, Mark Wood.
Maybe England can maintain this excuse for terrible cricket for the rest of the tour?
Stokes will lead the XI in the absence of regular captain Joe Root, who will be on paternity leave.
The 22-year-old is bidding for a Test debut against England.
The West Indies all-rounder could only make five in their second intra-squad match.
The star all-rounder will take charge for the opening Test against the West Indies.
Holder was dismissed for only five off 13 balls.
All-rounder will step in next week with Root missing the match to attend the birth of his second child.
The all-rounder left home county Yorkshire earlier this month.