A PR consultancy firm’s offices, Clapham. They are breakfasting and thinking about cricketainment.
A man the ECB have decided to give money to: “Right, everyone. Thanks for arriving to us. We’ve nailed the other names for The Hundred, but there’s still some doubts on The Oval franchise so we’ve got a couple of Surrey cricketistas in to test the vibe. So, guys, you don’t like London X, no?”
Alec Stewart: “No.”
Gareth Batty: “No.”
Man: “Okay, that’s so great. I’m loving your positivity on this but sensing some pushback. What’s your negative input vector?”
Man: “Why don’t you like London X?”
Stewart: “It sounds like a Babestation spin-off, pal.”
Man: “Ha, I love your verbal bistro, Alec. And you, Gareth?”
Batty: “Have you got any toast?”
Man: “Er, no, sorry, but help yourself to the blueberry and chia seed muffins. Anyway, our creative womb, if I may, Yvonna, will now push out a few other possibilities for you to baptize.”
Batty: “You what?”
Man: “She’ll go through some other names.”
Batty: “Oh right. Nice one.”
Yvonna: “Yes, so we were thinking London Fuse….”
Stewart: “Of what?”
Yvonna: “I’m sorry.”
Stewart: “Views of what?”
Yvonna: “Ha, that’s so funny. No, Alec, Fuse, not Views. Who’d call a team London Views?!”
Batty: “That’s not bad that, actually. The London Views.”
Yvonna: “Fuse. It’s London Fuse. Right next. London Union?”
Stewart: “Bit lefty. Not my thing.”
Yvonna: “London Rebels?”
Batty: “Bloody lovely!”
Yvonna: “Oh great. You like it?”
Batty: “No, I meant these chia seeds. Delicious. The name’s rubbish.”
Yvonna: “London Enzymes?”
Yvonna: “London Decimals?”
Stewart: “No,but I see what you’ve done there.”
Yvonna: “London Chieftain?”
Stewart: “No and should be plural anyway.”
Yvonna: “London Spirit?”
Stewart: “If we must.”
Man: “Right, okay. Well that’s all gone terrifically well. Multiple thanks, guys.”
Batty: “Can I take one of these with me?”
Man: “Totally, Gareth.”
As made up by James Marsh (We can’t stress that enough: this is made up.)
Root insists he is enjoying the mix of experience and youth in the England side.
Wood and Stokes star as England wrap up a 3-1 series victory.
Pakistan won the series 2-0 to retain top spot.
The cricketing world is mourning the death of NBA legend Kobe Bryant today.
Cook admits to being “jealous” at the way David Warner approaches Test cricket.
Another great day for England, but Buttler’s misfires continue.
Tall order for this current South Africa team, it’s fair to say.
Just about worked out okay we reckon.
The Indian juggernaut rolls on.
Mark Wood is an all-rounder now.