Warner is more Moose than Malfoy

Australia

Is David Warner a hot-headed, badly-intentioned guy, or is he just as thick as two short planks? It must be the case that he's not the brightest candle on the cake, because surely no-one with a brain would keep doing what he does.

Is David Warner a hot-headed, badly-intentioned guy, or is he just as thick as two short planks? It must be the case that he's not the brightest candle on the cake, because surely no-one with a brain would keep doing what he does.

It doesn't seem like Warner is an intelligently malicious character. If he were Draco Malfoy-like in personality, he'd be much smarter about the shenanigans he gets up to, or at least learn from them. The latest incident seems to illustrate this.

We don't know what was said to Thami Tsolekile in Pretoria that made the normally chilled wicketkeeper snap, but Warner then went on Twitter and said it was 'funny' and a case of 'friendly banter'. Tsolekile did not seem to be in on the joke.

(Also, why does he still have an account? Surely anyone named Warner should be banned from Tweeting? #EscapeGoat)

Does he not understand the concepts of punishment or atonement? He was sent to South Africa and Zimbabwe to get some game time, after being suspended for trying to punch Joe Root, and then goes and gets into another altercation. This reminds one of Moose in the Archie Comics. Strong, blonde and not the smartest character in the cast.

As a result of this latest headline-grabber, which is not being investigated by CA because nothing was officially reported to the match referee, there have been questions about Warner's place in the third Ashes Test.

He'd scored 193 in the game against South Africa A, meaning the selectors couldn't possibly leave him out at Old Trafford this week. Let's be honest, John Inverarity would call up Charles Manson if it meant a century on the scorecard.

If Warner plays on 1 August, and one can't imagine he'll be left out after that huge ton, he's likely bat at six. His 'rush of blood to the head' temperament has not worked as opener, and his score last week was made at number four.

Warner seems to be well-liked by his team-mates, aside from Michael Clarke when he has to field constant questions about the batsman's antics, and the pictures of him usually show him laughing and joking in training.

The thing is, being the class clown is only tolerated when your homework gets done and you allow the other kids to get on with their work. When the Head Boy has to spend his time placating the teachers instead of doing his own sums, it's not funny any more, especially when the class is failing already.

<b>Lindsay du Plessis</b>

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