Tough times, these. But if there’s a better way of cheering ourselves up than remembering just quite literally some of the times Stuart Broad was the absolute best, then frankly we don’t want to hear about it.
1. First things first, the time he took 8/15 against Australia
2. And the time he took 6/17 against South Africa
3. And also the time he took 7/44 against New Zealand
4. And not forgetting the time he took 6/25 against India
5. Being rubbish for the first four Tests of the 2009 Ashes just to make his series-winning spell in the fifth Test funnier
6. Being the world’s most aesthetically pleasing slogger, 2007-2014
7. Becoming a genuine number 11 batsman, 2015-2020
8. Taking a Test hat-trick that bantered India’s DRS stance right off
— England Cricket (@englandcricket) July 30, 2019
9. Taking a Test hat-trick without realising it
11. Using the phrase “see with your eyes” when we wrote about that dismissal
I’m assuming you can see with your eyes it hit the bottom of my thigh pad and deflected directly down onto the stumps? 🧐 #ClickBait
— Stuart Broad (@StuartBroad8) April 12, 2019
13. Broadface II when Denly dropped that catch
LOOK AT BROAD 😂 pic.twitter.com/BVNJiupygs
— Vithushan Ehantharajah (@Vitu_E) December 2, 2019
14. Scoring 169 and not remotely being the biggest talking point of the Test match
15. The last ball of England’s defeat to Netherlands in the opening game of the 2009 World T20
16. Captaining England to another heroic T20 defeat against the Dutch
17. Making a big fuss of moving the Adelaide Oval sightscreen and then getting bowled round his legs first ball by Mitchell Johnson
18. Failing to pass 1 in eight consecutive overseas Test innings
19. Inspiring Martin Samuel to suggest he should bowl all the overs from both ends
Football journalist Martin Samuel is writing about cricket again. All the excuse I need to bring up the time he genuinely wanted Stuart Broad to bowl unchanged for more than a session. From both ends. pic.twitter.com/mKmLjKJsWz
— Dave Tickner (@tickerscricket) November 21, 2017
20. Wandering off for a piss while trying to bat out a draw against Sri Lanka
21. Not walking that time at Trent Bridge
22. His post-series assessment of why he didn’t walk that time at Trent Bridge: “It was an important moment in the game because, let’s be honest, if Belly and I hadn’t put on those runs, we wouldn’t have won the Test match so we would only have won 3-1 or something.”
23. Infuriating Australians generally and Queenslanders specifically to the extent that lots of them wore “STUART BROAD IS A SHIT BLOKE” T-shirts, most of them without irony.
24. Posing happily with people wearing “STUART BROAD IS A SHIT BLOKE” T-shirts
25. Prompting the Courier-Mail to shit the bed and set it on fire by refusing to name him – except for when putting his face and name right there on the front of the paper – and labelling him “Stuart Fraud”, “smug Pommie cheat” and “the 27-year-old medium-pacer” ahead of the 2013/14 Ashes opener
The Courier Mail subeditors still haven't quite got to grips with their paper's ban on mentioning Broad. pic.twitter.com/2ULEc72Dqr
— Pavilion Opinions (@pavilionopinion) November 20, 2013
26. Wandering into the press conference after taking five wickets on day one at the Gabba with the Courier Mail tucked under his arm.
27. Insisting on being put up for England media duties after the sandpapergate story broke and wondering with studied mock-innocence why Australia had changed their successful bowling strategy from the Ashes
28. This dismissal
Broad's bat gets stuck in his pad as Rabada smashes his stumps from a full delivery 🤦♂️
Broad & England's batting woes continue
— Sky Sports Cricket (@SkyCricket) January 3, 2020
29. Each and every one of the 372 times he got David Warner out in the 2019 Ashes
— England Cricket (@englandcricket) September 16, 2019
30. This tweet
Did he not walk?! Wow
— Stuart Broad (@StuartBroad8) December 13, 2019
31. Filming James Anderson hitting himself in the face playing g**f
32. Not being in any way involved in the KP Genius twitter account
33. Almost getting timed out and then reviewing the plumb lbw dismissal that completed Peter Siddle’s Birthday Hat-Trick
34. This double fist-pump celebrappeal and the insane third-umpire decision to overturn it
Incredible celebrappeal from Broad, even more incredible decision from the third umpire to overturn the decision on some very, very iffy evidence.pic.twitter.com/xiqIKOuqcF
— Cricket365 (@Cricket365) November 29, 2019
35. And this celebrappeal
He's got him again! 😱
David Warner simply cannot play Stuart Broad! ❌
— Sky Sports Cricket (@SkyCricket) September 7, 2019
36. And this one
A textbook celebrappeal from Stuart Broad. pic.twitter.com/AJ6fVDaPPe
— Wisden (@WisdenCricket) July 26, 2019
37. And this one
🧨 @StuartBroad8 to left-handers!! 💥
— England Cricket (@englandcricket) September 5, 2019
38. And, of course, getting Yuvrajed. Thinking about it, this really should have been number 36.
UPDATE: Five other ones that we’d forgotten about because there are just so, so many
1. Extravagant shoe-based timewasting that didn’t even work
— Bob Bamber (@CricketFanBob) March 30, 2020
2. Being the best Fantasy Football player on earth one week
An honourable mention to when he was literally the best Fantasy Football player in the world. https://t.co/U2I7JdCzdR
— Andy Ha (@AndyHa_) March 28, 2020
3. When John Campbell tried to scoop him in the 10th over of a Test match
Throwback to when John Campbell tried to scoop Stuart Broad in the 10th over of a Test Match innings…pic.twitter.com/2xKN15Lxdc
— Cricket’s great moments (@PitchedInLine) March 21, 2020
4. #stay #humble
5. Joining in with the Jofradamus phenom
Patience Jof, only 1 more day…
— Stuart Broad (@StuartBroad8) July 31, 2019
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